So my application to get my mustache trademarked was rejected, and when I called the trademark office to see what the deal was, the girl who I ended up speaking with had a smart mouth and I wanted to punch her in her smug face. She said my 'stache couldn't be trademarked because then it would mean that anybody else who had a mustache would be subject to a fine for infringement and I was all, well, what's the problem, I made the mustache what it is today and that the 80s alone had me to thank for a mustache revival. Then she got all smug and uppity and said, "I don't THINK SO, sir, you are not the only person who had a mustache in the 80s." And then the rage took over, and I WENT. OFF. I said, "Listen, wench, I am Thomas goddamn Selleck, I was on Magnum, P.I. and then I was on Friends and now I am KILLING IT on Blue Bloods, so why don't you shut your smart mouth or so help me god, I WILL DRIVE UP THERE AND SHUT IT MYSELF." Then she hung up. I will seek my revenge.
In other news, I have a date tonight. I plan on giving her the Magnum, P.I. special. And by that I mean I'm gonna bone her.